Journeying
I will be ending eight years association with the London Centre for Spiritual Direction in June when I shall step down from the Trustees ahead of my retirement from the Diocese of London. I took over as temporary Director of the Centre in 2015 and then continued as a Trustee. The Centre has seen significant changes in that time, and it is wonderful to see LCSD flourishing under the leadership of Beki Rogers, with an excellent staff and tutor team, well-subscribed courses and exciting new recruits as Trustees.
As I approach and prepare for retirement, one of my reflections is how God uses the changes that take place in our lives and in the institutions and organisations around us. When I took over as Director of LCSD the Centre’s identity was wholly integrated with the Church of St Edmund the King, Lombard Street. Although there was a recognition that we could do more to enable a wider reach, nothing could have prepared us for the COVID-19 pandemic. The result, however, is the move to a largely on-line Centre, with a national and international reach, and with courses to match our changed profile.
Although, in so many ways, it has been painful to end our association with St Edmund’s, we now have an exciting future ahead. I can’t help feeling, though, that the Holy Spirit helped us prepare for this new future long before the pandemic. Wrestling with our identity so closely integrated with St Edmund’s, through a more flexible and fluid relationship was part of the hard process we undertook in changing from the London Centre for Spirituality to the London Centre for Spiritual Direction; from sole occupancy of St Edmund’s, through sharing the church, to letting go completely. A new identity for the 2020s and beyond has been forged, courses have been remodelled, new relationships have been developed and time-honoured understandings of spiritual direction and spirituality refreshed.
And so, to my own journey. Nearly forty years in ordained ministry in London (preceded by a Health Service management career also in London), with the clear expectation that I was to retire from being Director of Ministry, a role I loved, following over 20 years as a parish priest. The God of surprises, though, had other ideas, and the final two years of my stipendiary ministry are as Canon Steward of St Paul’s Cathedral.
Cathedral ministry was never on my agenda, but I am grateful to the Holy Spirit for gently helping me to see how the experiences and learnings I have gained in my various roles (including Director and Trustee of the LCSD) can be used in a very different and exciting ministry and setting. I’m loving it.
All this helps me to understand that no experience is ever wasted; no learning is for nought. God is able to use all the raw materials, all the painful and joyful journeying, the challenges, the baggage we bring with us. And this fills me with great hope as I look towards the next exciting / frightening chapter of retirement and a dramatic change of identity and locality. Through this journey my sustenance has been the Daily Office, and more particularly the psalms. As we are aware, the psalms hold the range of human conditions and relationships with God.
“Not to us, Lord. not to us, but to your name give the glory.”
I have been privileged to have had the most amazing journey and I trust that the Holy Spirit continues to prepare me for the next stage of the journey, even though I’m not really clear what that stage looks like yet!
I wonder what the sustenance has been that has helped you along your journey?
And what are the unlikely or unknown things that the Holy Spirit found ways of preparing you for, without you realising it?
Neil Evans
Neil is Residentiary Canon and Steward of St Paul’s Cathedral. He has been a priest in London Diocese for approaching 40 years serving as a Parish Priest in Tower Hamlets, Hackney and Twickenham. Until last year he was Diocesan Director of Ministry. As a Trustee of LCSD he acted as Director of the Centre from 2015-18.