Trusting the Silence
For 20 years I commuted between my office in London's West End and my home in rural Oxfordshire. Back and forth on a Great Western train, day after day, an hour and a half each way. From time to time, I'd ask myself, ‘why am I doing this?’. But really, I knew. I needed the quiet of the countryside to balance the intensity of city working; time to lay down those stresses in the quiet.
I used to pray on that train, and I discovered that the same balance was needed in my prayer life. Alongside my busy prayers of thanks, of confession, of ‘making my requests known to God’, the times when I said nothing and simply sat in the presence of God and waited were crucial. Times to let go of my agenda and enjoy God’s company in a wordless awareness of presence within and without me.
“‘On God alone my soul in stillness waits’
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Silence and surrender are so significant in our spiritual journey. But I’ve noticed something odd. We, myself included, can sometimes struggle to ‘trust the silence’ in our spiritual direction conversations. But the silences can be so rich.
Silence at the beginning of those conversations allows us to honour God’s presence and prepare our hearts to listen. Perhaps it’s also at that moment that the Spirit nudges the person who has come to see us to share what’s really on their heart. Silence at the end allows us both to reflect back on the conversation, a miniature Examen to help us notice what we can carry into the coming days. And it may well be that holding silence instead of asking another question might allow our directee space to express something deep within.
Many spiritual directors do include these silences as a regular part of our practice, but how often do we intentionally pause mid-flow and ask, ‘would a minute or two of silence be helpful?’ and hold that silence together as part of the conversation itself? I realise I personally do that less often.
I wonder if I’m afraid that there will just be nothing there… an empty space of awkward embarrassment desperately wanting to be filled by more words! And yet I know that in my prayer as soon as I clear away the clutter of my inner thoughts to ‘hallow’ God’s name, God turns up… gracing the silence with presence. Surely the same is true in our spiritual direction conversations when we pause deliberately and open that space to see what God may do.
In those moments, we give God the opportunity to take us deeper, or in an unexpected direction, to simply notice God’s presence or sense God’s purpose in some way. It’s then that we remember who’s really the director in the room. So, if this is not already a part of your regular practice, why not try making space to hold some silence when you sense it might be helpful in your upcoming spiritual direction conversations?
Further Resources:
The Contemplative Heart – James Finlay
Spiritual Direction – Sue Pickering
Into the Silent Land: The Practice of Contemplation - Martin Laird
Beholding: Deepening our Experience in God – Strahan Coleman
Open Mind Open Heart – Thomas Keating
Charles Hippsley
Charles is the Lead Tutor on Encounter Year Two.
Charles comes from a background in business and church leadership. In 2012, he joined the London Institute for Contemporary Christianity to lead the Work Forum. He also works as a Spiritual Director and teaches on the second year of the Encounter course. Charles lives in Oxfordshire with his wife, Mary, and loves to discover and share practical insights into engaging with God, self and others in daily life.