Small Sideways Steps
Spiritual Direction Sideways: What does this mean?
While training on LCSD’s Encounter course (2016-2019) I remember well the session about ‘Spiritual Direction sideways’, a term created by Julie Dunstan, Director of the Encounter programme at that time. Something about the phrase struck me and has stuck with me ever since. In groups, we explored and discussed some of these activities and expressions of Spiritual Direction sideways.
Spiritual Direction Sideways could be:
Retreats / Quiet days / Days of recollection / Pilgrimages
Weeks of accompanied prayer / Praying creatively through movement, art, poetry, imagination
Accompanying others via email, Zoom, Skype, letter, WhatsApp, landline
Adult formation in churches
Vocational discernment
Leading bible studies, book clubs and other types of church groups
Chaplaincy in hospitals, schools, prisons, hospices, shopping malls
Unexpected, once only encounters with people in ‘third spaces’ like coffee shops, gyms, pubs, sports clubs, cafes, nightclubs, community centres and social groups. To learn more about Third Spaces visit Third Space Ministries | Third Space Ministries)
Offering Spiritual Direction in settings and at events like festivals, conferences
Reading Spiritual Direction by Sue Pickering, six years before I began training, I somehow knew that Spiritual Direction would be important in my ongoing formation and maturing. Back then, I had titles and labels to describe my identity and the gifts I offered in secular and sacred places like, leader, practitioner, coach, mentor, facilitator, advisor. What underpinned them all was simply listening to those who ‘came my way.’ During the Encounter course I observed, learned, and practiced listening at new breadths and depths.
It was the American author, philosopher, theologian, Christian mystic, educator, and civil rights leader Howard Thurman who said:
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
This has been great advice as I have been exploring Spiritual Direction sideways – what does this mean in my life and context? The book and course together with regular Spiritual Direction and Supervision created ‘the clearing’ as beautifully put in a poem of the same name by Martha Postlethwaite. She encourages us to
‘create a clearing in the dense forest of your life and wait there patiently, until the song that is yours alone to sing falls into your open cupped hands.’
As I waited patiently, some of the time I have, with others, discerned what makes me come alive and aligned my life to it. For example, when I am:
Aware of the loving presence of God during ordinary everyday moments and in thin places
Being all of who I am and am becoming in service to slow, creative, liberating, integration work
Listening to God experiences and being involved in others forming, learning, maturing
Exploring Christian spirituality in its myriads of traditions, dimensions and orientations
Spiritual Direction sideways has come to mean ‘going and doing’ what makes me come alive. Now I know the song that is mine alone to sing.
From 2025 I will be:
Accompanying leaders, mostly global majority Christian women, working for social justice. We’ll discern the movement of God in their life and leadership during monthly Zoom calls
Leading themed and bespoke retreats for individuals and small groups who are seeking quiet and creative spaces, online and in-person at the Royal Foundation of St Katharine’s
Reimagining global leadership and practitioner development through conversations and writing
Studying Christian Spirituality while on a three-year, part-time MA at Sarum College, I hope to keep practicing listening deeply to the language of the divine and our souls
All of this reflects, I feel, a definition of Spiritual Direction, I am not sure of its origin, that was shared with me at the end of 2024, ‘Spiritual accompaniment is a covenant relationship in which one person assists another or others in the discernment of God’s presence and the living out of God’s call’.
When I first read about Spiritual Direction and attended the Encounter course, I had no idea that this is where I would end up. As I continue discerning the spirit’s movement and taking small tentative ‘sideways’ steps, I am curious to know where we are going next, who we will meet and what we’ll be doing. As a new year unfurls for me, for you and for us, I extend peace.
Questions for Reflection
How have your understanding and practice of Spiritual Direction evolved over time? What insights or shifts have shaped your journey?
What are some of the most meaningful or surprising moments you've experienced while offering Spiritual Direction in "third spaces"?
Does Spiritual Direction sideways resonate with you? If yes, what is attractive about it?
If not, what doesn’t resonate? Why might this be?
Who are the "other" voices or people you feel called to meet in the coming year? In what ways might you be open to unexpected encounters?
If you are interested to explore Spiritual Direction sideways further, what first step will you take to explore its meaning in your life and context?
Grace Owen
Grace Owen is a spiritual director, life writer and retreat leader. As founder and CEO of Greater Flourishing she is growing a global portfolio of work that is accelerating social justice impact. Grace is leading a 24 hour retreat Courageous Spaciousness Tickets, Thu 9 Oct 2025 at 16:00 | Eventbrite at the Royal Foundation of St Katharine’s, London. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.