What’s the point of waiting
What must it have been like for Jesus’ friends and family waking up on the morning of Holy Saturday? His mother, his friends Martha, Lazarus and Mary, or his disciples Peter, John, James and the rest. After a fitful night's sleep, if any, they find themselves constrained by Sabbath law to wait, left with their thoughts and feelings of loss and grief from the day before. Words written much earlier by those besieged by similar emotions come to mind, ‘He has brought me into darkness without any light’ Lamentations 3:12.
We might ask ourselves what was the point of that Saturday? If a joyous resurrection was going to happen, why wait? Why sit in the quiet amongst the questions, with nothing to distract from the pain? Would it not have been easier for Jesus to bounce right back from crucifixion the next day? Well, it seems not. God also appears to pause as they grieved on that day.
Alongside the devastating loss of a loved one, Jesus’ followers were also facing hopes of liberation dashed, expectations of their Messiah disappointed, and the loss of a life-purpose to which they had given themselves. There is little evidence that the disciples were actually waiting for Jesus to rise from the dead despite him giving them a heads up as he headed towards Jerusalem. I wonder how they really felt, and especially how might they have been feeling about God?
“ Our own ‘mental map’ of how the journey of faith will go has been shaped by the expectations we’ve inherited from tradition and culture alongside scripture. And when, for whatever reason, God fails to comply with those expectations, we can find ourselves confused, disappointed, sometimes wandering in the dark. ”
Scriptures like Lamentations (and Psalms) don’t hold back on the expression of raw, honest emotion to God at times like these: He has… driven me away, weighed me down, shut out my prayer, deprived me of peace …are just some examples to be found in Lamentations 3.
Sometimes we too can find ourselves in that place if we’re honest. Our own ‘mental map’ of how the journey of faith will go has been shaped by the expectations we’ve inherited from tradition and culture alongside scripture. And when, for whatever reason, God fails to comply with those expectations, we can find ourselves confused, disappointed, sometimes wandering in the dark. We’ve moved from a firm footing, from being well ‘oriented’ as Walter Brueggemann puts it (in his book, Spirituality of the Psalms), to feeling lost and definitely disoriented.
Many people in this ‘Holy Saturday’ situation seek out Spiritual Direction. So, what might the opportunity be for us as spiritual directors when someone comes to us for help? As we sit, listening deeply to expressions of pain or disillusionment, how can we help our directee to discover the value in these seasons of uncertainty and disorientation?
Let me offer three possibilities:
Giving lament time to do its slow work. In disorientation, we all need time to grieve for what has been lost: maybe the old, familiar ways of worship or prayer no longer bring us closer to a sense of God; or perhaps that very sense of God’s presence itself has deserted us when we feel we need it most. It’s OK to be asking God the hard questions in this place, like, ‘Do you know what it’s like to be me?’ Why do you seem so distant?’ or ‘Let me tell you what I think you should do!’. (Lamentations 3:55-65)
Facing the pain. Culturally we are bombarded with all sorts of attractive ways to numb pain. But at some point, we have to face our pain face on if we want to change the story that plays over and over in our thoughts and feelings and avoid passing our pain on to others. As we sit with our negative emotions, we open ourselves to discovering God’s sustaining presence weaving together the frayed edges of our brokenness.
Moving from change to transition. Perspective is crucial here: if we only focus on the disruption we have experienced, it can suck us in, and we remain anchored to the spot. Equally, if we try to push disturbance away, deny that it’s affecting us, we again struggle to move forward. But, if we see change as a catalyst for making a transition, an internal transformation, change can offer us an invitation to grow in spiritual maturity.
The thing is none of these three happen quickly. They only take effect as we engage intentionally in times of waiting. And I guess that’s the point!
So, as we approach Holy Saturday this year, here are some questions that you may find helpful in prompting your own reflections, or to help someone that you walk alongside with theirs:
Lamentations 3 speaks not only to the negative emotions we can express in dark times, but also to the nature of God that offers us hope. In the face of your distress, what ‘counter-balancing truths’ about God and God’s love for you do you find meaningful? Lamentations 3:23, 25 and 31 may be helpful here (e.g., ‘The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him’).
What do you sense God requires of you in this season? Again, Lamentations 3 offers some suggestions: v26 to wait quietly on God; v29 to pray in humility for mercy; or v40 to examine our ways, thoughts, attitudes.
And pivoting to Jesus’ most relevant teaching in this context, what might need to fall to the ground and die in this season so that it can generate a greater fruitfulness in the next? (John 12:24)
If you would like to read more about growing through times of testing and disorientation, there are further reflections, insights and good questions in Reimagining the Landscape of Faith (Mary & Charles Hippsley, BRF, 2025). The book is available from www.brfonline.co.uk and we offer some more background and blogs at www.reimaginefaithlandscape.com .
Mary & Charles Hippsley
Mary is a Spiritual Director and trains mature Christians to accompany others in a local church context. Charles is also a Spiritual Director and is Lead Tutor for the second year of LCSD’s Encounter course.