What’s in a word?
As a Canadian living in the UK, one of the things I find most fun is learning the way Brits speak English. At one point I kept a list of ‘British-isms’ that included all sorts of words and phrases different from what I was used to, as well as bits of spelling and grammar that surprised me. My list had at least 400 items.
Did you know, for example, that while Canadians enjoy watching sports, Brits watch the sport, and that Canadian school children study math rather than maths?
And what about all the colourful phrases that brighten British conversation? I get a kick out of ‘give it a go’, ’mucky pup’ and ‘noisy Herbert’ (with a silent ‘h’), but my all-time favourite is the ubiquitous and multi-purpose ‘go on, then’ (often pronounced gwahn). This handy phrase can be a challenge or a dare, a nudge of encouragement or a shy agreement to accept that piece of cake you probably shouldn’t have but you know you really want. “Oh… go on, then!”
One difference caught me by surprise while watching the news. I think the story was about female bishops or something along that line, and the presenter started her story with the words, “The Church….” Wait, what?! Where I come from, no church is established and there are so many denominations and churches that no single one is ever referred to as “the church.”
“We absorb concepts such as ‘offering space’ or ‘deep listening’ or ‘holding the silence’ that are central to our ministry. Yet I had to applaud one Spiritual Direction student who, well into her second year of training, admitted she didn’t really understand what was meant by ‘contemplative presence.”
So what has all this got to do with Spiritual Direction? To me it highlights how much of our culture is bound up in the language we use and how easy it is to feel a bit lost — but maybe afraid to say so — when we’re not sure of the meaning behind the words we hear. We take on a new culture as we become part of the Spiritual Direction community. We absorb concepts such as ‘offering space’ or ‘deep listening’ or ‘holding the silence’ that are central to our ministry. Yet I had to applaud one Spiritual Direction student who, well into her second year of training, admitted she didn’t really understand what was meant by ‘contemplative presence’ and could it please be explained more clearly. Well done for having the courage to ask.
I also wonder if our language doesn’t sometimes, unintentionally, promote a kind of mystique around spiritual things that could actually make them feel less accessible to some. Being a grandparent to a three year old, I have unexpectedly become a fan of the Frozen films. In a moment of comic relief near the end of Frozen II, Olaf the living snowman is leaving the enchanted forest with his friends. “I still don’t know what transformation means,” he says, “but I feel this forest has really changed us all.”
We might benefit from observing (with curiosity, not judgement, of course) the language we use; considering whether it could be simpler, clearer. I find it a useful exercise. I think it could be for any of us, including those who are new to the ministry of spiritual direction, and perhaps especially because of the benefits it could also have for the people we accompany.
Go on, then. I encourage you. Give it a go. ; )
Questions for Reflection
Recall how you have felt when people around you were speaking a different language or using terms you didn’t really understand (like when my husband tries to explain how the television works through the video game controller).
After a Spiritual Direction session (whether giving or receiving) consider whether words were used that might not have been 100% clear. If there were some, how do you think it might have affected the interaction?
Choose a word or phrase you use in your ministry, perhaps one mentioned above. Think through how you would explain it to someone who knows nothing about spiritual direction, or to someone for whom English is not their first language.
Shelly King
Shelly is a returning to Encounter this year as Year 1 Tutor.
Shelly hails from Canada where she trained as a spiritual director with the FCJ (Faithful Companions of Jesus) in Calgary, Alberta. She loves all the various ways this ministry is offered, whether in groups, one-to-one, on weeks of accompanied prayer or in retreat settings. Things that bring her joy include teaching, singing, being on the water and watching her granddaughter grow.